~~Major Misunderstanding~~
I think most people misunderstands me. When I don’t talk to you doesn’t mean i looked down or a.k.a how lian on a person. Its within my nature that I just don’t talk much to the people I just met or wasn’t close to. I may not seem like it but actually, I’m the shy type. I only speak when I was spoken to and only answer when I was asked. I’m not really that comfortable talking to a person who have I have just meet unless there is a strong chemistry bond between us. So, although you are my cousin, I don’t know what or even how to talk to you. I don’t want to offends you or something. So, I’m really sorry, MaryAnne.
Its really hard to find someone that understands you better than yourself. There’s a lot of things that burdening my heart and that I wished to share with people. But the thing is, I don’t think they would understand the complexity and the fragility of the matter. I am very sensitive to finding the right person to share it to and i just don’t spill the beans just like that. Therefore, even to this day, I never told anyone the part that makes me, me. I only give them the summarized part but never the details.
And please do keep in mind, if I spaced out in the middle of conversation (which I did a lot), there probably 2 reasons. 1 is that I really think throughly what you’ve said and second, the topic does not concern me. If you want to include me in the conversation, say my name (as if you’re asking the question directly to me) to get me back to Earth when my head is up in space. I would never repeat my answer thrice. If the first 2 times you didn’t hear me, i wouldn’t even bother to repeat it again. I don’t know why I just don’t. And 1 more thing, if I get interupted, I would stop talking until the thing clears off and someone asked again.
I hate it when 2 ppl talk to me on different things all at the same time. I just don’t know who should I answer first and who would feel offended because I didn’t answer him/her. I really don’t like to be involved with a fight or argue with someone who never admits their wrongs. It’s usually useless and pointless. I try to avoid it as much as possible. One more thing is I never like to be blame for the fault of others. What I mean is, for example, a friend who is about to have a very important exam but decided to call me up for a drink. I don’t want people coming up to me and say i should not go out with that friend as he/she is facing a very important exam. In my opinion, if a person decided to ask you out for a drink although a very important exam is coming up, that person must have already assign his/her schedules to fit the needs. My friend is an adult and can think for him/her self. If he/she think they still gt time for drink, might as well be. Don’t blame it on me.
**That just me. Please don’t misunderstand on my behaviors. I mean no harm. I’m just trying to be polite and nice the best I can so don’t push it. I may not be the perfect child but I am me. Take me as I am, as thats the only thing I can offer to you. I’ll lent my ears, shoulders to you if you need them. I’ll waste all my time for you if you want me too. But please, dont ask me to change who I am.
Signing off with love and care…
